Marriage Is 50-50? Really????

Ephesians 5:22-33 (NKJV) "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

It's a common misnomer. I'll give 50 and you give 50. I'll meet you half way. NOT!

And then the wife gives 100% BUT the husband is stuck at 50% or the other way around. Because there are wives that do just as bad as the husband or worse. She gives 50% and the husband does 100%.

But for the most part, the wife is always at 100% and the husband does as he pleases. This is a travesty and utter fallacy.

Imagine having 50-50 sex? Then if she gets pregnant, she has a 50-50 baby. Imagine having 50-50 finances, then when the bill is due, you just pay 50%. Just imagine having 50-50 car? When you drive, you drive half of a car. Or when you get into the shower, and on and on.

Notice the Scripture above.

It's not disparaging of Paul to start off with how wives are to be to their husbands because Paul is using marriage to give us a description of the church and how the church is to respond to Christ.

Why?

Because Christ is Lord and He'll never be subservient to His bride but notice how He treats His bride.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her..."

Christ loves His church, the Bride. He loves her still. Why? Because He wants you to be the best you could be. It doesn't mean that wives act crazy and get away with it. So how should the church respond to Christ? And how should the husband Biblically respond to the wife?

In obedience and not in rebellion. Remember "rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft..."

The husband that's not taking care of the wife and kids is rebellion.

In marriage, the husband doesn't get away with not taking care of the wife. The husband will be held accountable because the spiritual analogy is clear. The husband gives 100% of his life to the wife just as Christ gives 100% to the church.

Just imagine that the Lord is Lord of all but He only gives you 50%?

No.

He gives us His all freely.

Is this unconditional? Yes!

Romans 8:32 (NKJV)

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?"

The Lord gave His all to man because man is incapable of giving anything.

Everything comes from God.

It's called love and grace, however, we should never mistreat God and assume that we "got it like that" and take God for granted.

There was a time when I thought that I was the sole protector and provider and I've gotten corrected. The Lord is the sole protector and provider based on Matthew chapter 6. He's the One who gives us all things freely. That's why we give Him thanks for everything.

It all comes from Him.

He gives us rain when we need it. He gives us food when we need it. He gives us sunshine when we need it. He freely gives us all things. To the saved and the unsaved. We give thanks as a ritual without fully understanding that all things come from God.

Therefore, the husband have a great responsibility because husbands are a type and shadow of Christ.

Listen to this in Proverbs 12:4 (NKJV)

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.“

The reasons why marriages take a turn for the worse among Christians is because when we lack knowledge and reject the true God and His Word, circumstances come to "shock" us into our senses. Corrective circumstances, when we're in rebellion against the Lord, is designed to get our attention. To get back to the Lord in pray and His Word.

Demonic circumstances are designed to distract you away from God.

Communication, finances, and sexual immorality distractions.

When it comes to communication, a "soft answer turns away wrath."

Selfishness is at the root of all divorces. However, when the wife have certain basic needs that need to be met, it's not selfish.

It's what's expected in a husband.

Therefore, the dating before sex (consummation of the marriage) is the place where you're both on trial.

Discovery of the kind of person he or she is must be done.

Is he or she very disciplined and frugal with their finances? Do they live prodigal or frugal lives?

Do they have a separate place (house or apartment) to stay and how do they maintain their home or apartment?

How do they communicate? Do they talk bad about you behind your back?

Are they virgins? Does the fiancé have sex with prostitutes and whores and whoremongers?

Above everything else, do they have the genuine fear of God?

Are they afraid of God and His wrath when caught in sin?

In Christian circles, many marriages crash because they forget about being a Christ follower in marriage.

Men, you carry a big responsibility to be faithful because God, your heavenly Father is faithful.

1 Timothy 5:7-8 (NKJV) "And these things command, that they may be blameless.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Can a husband be worse than a sinner?

Read the Scripture above. What does it mean to be "...worse than an unbeliever?"

It never said that the wife is worse than an unbeliever. If the husband can't take care of his marital responsibilities, he "is worse than an unbeliever."

An unfaithful husband is worse than a hell bound sinner.

So what does it mean to "...love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her?"

1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV) "Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

The church, obviously, is weaker than Christ. That's why the church depends upon Christ for protection and provision. This is a type and shadow of the church.

You may not understand her fully, but you can't escape the responsibility to dwell with her with understanding and shun dwelling with a whore when you have disagreements and arguments.

Your wife has a place of honor that no other immoral or any other woman has.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (NKJV)

"But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

1 Corinthians 11:7-9 (NKJV) "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.

For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man."

Her beauty is a type of the church. Remember when we've read that "He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water through the Word?"

When a bride presents herself to her husband, she is clean, blameless, without spot or blemish.

She's chaste.

In response, the husband must do the right thing.

Treat her with respect and honor her.

She's your glory. She shines. As Proverbs 31:28-29 (NKJV) tells us, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.”

People take note when a man has a good wife and people take note when a wife has a good husband. He gives himself for her. They give themselves to each other for the mutual benefit of the relationship that glorifies God.

Remember. You're one flesh as God designed marriage between one biological male and female (see Genesis 2:20-25).

So are you still 50-50 or will you now shift gears and give all that you have?

100%-100%?

Is the husband and the wife worth the all out effort?

It's intuitive and instictive for the bride to give her all to her husband.

Husbands must do the same. Give yourself to your wife as Christ gives Himself for the church.

Since Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her, the bride in turn, based on her natural response, she will give herself to him, 100%.

Husbands must not short change the wife because Christ never short changed His church.

Husbands must give 100% without fail or the husband is worse than a unbelieving hell bound sinner.